Appointing guardians in your Will starts with a conversation

You may already know who you would ask to look after your children if you died. Perhaps your sister has a close relationship with them, or a friend shares your approach to bringing up a family.

But have you spoken to that person about it? And have you formally recorded your choice?

Research commissioned by Will Aid, reported by Today's Wills & Probate on 2 October 2026, found that around nine in ten parents surveyed had not appointed a legal guardian in their Will. The same research found that 62% either had no Will or had one that was out of date.

For parents with children under 18, these findings raise a question worth making time for: do the arrangements you have in place reflect what you would want for your family?

What does appointing a guardian mean?

In England and Wales, a parent with parental responsibility can appoint a guardian to act after their death. This appointment is commonly included in a Will. When it takes effect, the guardian gains parental responsibility for the child.

Parental responsibility covers legal rights and duties relating to a child's upbringing, including decisions about education and medical treatment. It is a substantial commitment, which is why choosing someone deserves a proper conversation.

Being close to your children is a good starting point. You also need to consider whether the person could realistically take on the role.

What happens if the other parent is still alive?

Naming a guardian in your Will does not usually mean that person takes over immediately if you die.

Where a surviving parent has parental responsibility, the appointment generally takes effect when there is no longer a parent with parental responsibility. There are exceptions involving certain court orders, so the arrangements need to be checked against your family's circumstances.

This matters particularly if you are separated or have a blended family. A step-parent does not automatically acquire parental responsibility simply by marrying a child's parent.

Tell your adviser about existing court orders and any concerns about your child's care. A Will should be prepared with those details in mind.

Ask before you appoint

Someone who happily has your children for a weekend may feel very differently about becoming responsible for their upbringing.

Give your proposed guardian time to think and permission to be honest. They may have concerns about their health, their own children or whether their home would be suitable. Those concerns are useful to understand before you make the appointment.

It can help to discuss:

• How well they know your children and understand their needs.
• Whether siblings could stay together.
• What a move might mean for school, friendships and family contact.
• Their work commitments and the support available to them.
• Whether they would still feel able to act as your children grow older.

You can also discuss a substitute guardian with your adviser, in case your first choice becomes unable or unwilling to act.

The aim is to make a considered choice with the information you have now. You can review it as circumstances change.

Think about the money alongside the care

Looking after children can bring significant costs. A guardian might need a larger home, different working hours or help with childcare.

When reviewing your Will, ask how your children's inheritance would be managed and how money could be made available for their needs.

The guardian's role and the trustee's role are different. Guardians have responsibilities for the child's upbringing, while trustees manage assets held in trust under the terms of that trust. The same person may hold both roles, but you should discuss whether that would work well for your family. The Society of Will Writers explains these separate responsibilities in its guidance on guardians.

For example, you might feel that your sister would provide the right home for your children, while another trusted person would be better placed to help manage their inheritance. Think through how those people would communicate and make decisions together.

Explain what matters to your children

Alongside the formal appointment, consider preparing a letter of wishes.

This can explain your hopes for your children's upbringing, including important relationships, religious or cultural traditions, and any additional support they need. It can also record the everyday details that someone stepping into your place would find helpful.

A letter of wishes is not legally binding and should support the arrangements in your Will. It cannot guarantee a particular outcome or override the court's consideration of your child's welfare.

Try to leave useful guidance while allowing room for your children's needs to change. What suits a four-year-old may be very different from what matters to a teenager.

Revisit the decision as family life changes

A guardian appointment made when your first child was born may need another look several years later.

Perhaps you have had another baby, your proposed guardian has moved abroad, or their health has changed. Your children's relationships and needs may have changed too.

If you already have a Will, check who it names and speak to them again. If you have not made one, you do not need to settle every question before asking for advice.

At SLS Wills and More, we can help you consider guardianship alongside your Will and the financial arrangements for your children. We will explain how the choices fit your circumstances and help you record them clearly.

To arrange a conversation, call 01304 577998 or email hello@slswillsandmore.co.uk.

This article covers England and Wales and provides general information. The appropriate arrangements depend on your family's circumstances.