Blended Families and Wills: Why ‘Everything to My Partner, Then the Children’ Isn’t Always That Simple

“I want everything to go to my partner, and then to the children.”

It sounds like a fairly straightforward instruction for a Will, and it is something we hear in various forms when talking to clients. For a traditional family arrangement, achieving that intention may be relatively simple, but when there are children from previous relationships, stepchildren, a second marriage or an unmarried partner involved, there can be rather more to think about.

The important part of that sentence is often the word “then”.

If you leave everything outright to your husband, wife or partner, those assets become theirs. You may hope that whatever remains will eventually pass to your children, but depending on how your Will is structured, that may not necessarily be what happens.

Circumstances change over time. Your surviving partner could make a new Will, remarry, form a new relationship or simply find that their financial circumstances are very different 10 or 20 years later. None of those things needs to involve anybody behaving badly for the eventual outcome to be different from the one you had pictured when you wrote your Will.

This is one of the reasons why estate planning for blended families deserves a little more thought.

Who do you mean when you say “the children”?

This might sound like an odd question, but it is an important one.

Perhaps you have two children from a previous marriage and your current partner has a child of their own. You may have also had children together. You might consider all of them equally part of your family, regardless of who their biological parents are.

The law does not necessarily look at those relationships in quite the same way.

If somebody dies without a valid Will, their estate is distributed according to the intestacy rules. Stepchildren do not automatically inherit from a stepparent under those rules simply because they have been brought up as part of that family.

For many people, that comes as a surprise. A stepchild may have been in your life since they were very young and you may regard them exactly as you would a biological child, but if you want them to inherit from you, your estate planning needs to reflect that intention.

This is also why we spend time understanding what somebody means when they talk about their “children” or their “family”. Making assumptions about family relationships is not a good basis on which to prepare a Will.

Leaving everything to your spouse may not achieve the whole plan

There is nothing unusual about wanting to make sure your husband, wife or partner is financially secure after your death. In many cases, that will be one of the most important objectives when preparing a Will.

However, if you also want to make sure that particular assets eventually pass to your children, especially children from an earlier relationship, simply leaving everything outright to your spouse may not deal with the second part of that intention.

Take the family home as an example. You may want your spouse to be able to continue living there for the rest of their life while also wanting your share of the property ultimately to benefit your children.

Depending on your circumstances, there may be ways to structure your Will to address both objectives. Trusts can sometimes form part of that discussion, although they are not automatically the right answer for every blended family and should not be included simply to make an arrangement appear more sophisticated.

What matters is establishing what you actually want to happen and then considering the most appropriate way of achieving it.

Marriage, remarriage and existing Wills

There is another point which is particularly relevant when relationships change.

Under the current law in England and Wales, getting married or entering into a civil partnership will usually revoke an existing Will, unless that Will was made in contemplation of the particular marriage or civil partnership.

That can be especially significant for somebody entering a second marriage who already has children.

You may have prepared a Will several years earlier which carefully provides for your children and assume that it remains in place. If you subsequently marry and do not review your estate planning, the position after your death could be quite different from the one you intended.

It is why we recommend reviewing your Will when there is a significant change in your life. Marriage, divorce, the birth of children or grandchildren, a new relationship, bereavement and substantial changes to your finances are all sensible reasons to take your Will out and check that it still does what you think it does.

What if you live together but aren't married?

The opposite problem can arise for couples who have been together for many years but have never married or entered into a civil partnership.

There remains a widespread belief in the idea of a “common law husband” or “common law wife”, but living together does not give somebody the same automatic inheritance rights as marriage or civil partnership.

An unmarried partner does not automatically inherit under the intestacy rules in England and Wales.

That can matter enormously where a couple has shared their lives for many years, particularly if there are children or property involved. The ownership of the home and other assets will also be relevant, so it is important not to assume that a long relationship on its own provides the same protection as a Will.

Does everybody have to receive the same amount?

Another conversation we sometimes have with families concerns the difference between treating people equally and treating them fairly.

For some parents, dividing everything equally between their children is exactly what they want. For others, family circumstances are more complicated.

One child may have received considerable financial help during your lifetime, while another has not. There could be a child or other beneficiary with additional needs. Perhaps one of your children works in a family business while the others do not, or you have stepchildren and biological children whom you want to provide for in different ways.

There is no formula which tells every family what the right distribution should be. What is important is that you have properly considered your circumstances and understand the implications of the choices you are making.

Those discussions can also highlight issues which somebody had not previously considered, which is one of the reasons we do not believe that good estate planning begins with filling in a few boxes about who should receive what.

Start with your family, not the document

If you are thinking about making or reviewing your Will and your family circumstances are a little more complicated, it can help to start by thinking about the outcome rather than the legal wording.

Consider who would need financial security if you died, who you ultimately want to benefit from your estate and whether those are necessarily the same people. Think about the family home, any children from previous relationships, stepchildren who are important to you and what you would want to happen if your surviving partner later remarried or their circumstances changed.

You do not need to arrive at an appointment knowing which type of Will or trust you need. That is part of the reason for taking advice in the first place.

At SLS Wills and More, we have these conversations with clients before deciding how their Will should be structured. With more than 38 years' experience, Sara understands that the important part is not simply producing a document; it is understanding the family, the assets involved and what the person sitting in front of us actually wants to achieve.

If your family has changed since you last made your Will, or you have never really considered how your Will would work in practice for a blended family, it is worth reviewing the position while you are still able to make those decisions yourself.